Parenting is not an exact science. Different people have different opinions about how to best raise a child. This is why you should not go into such a situation always thinking that you and your spouse will always agree on how to discipline or positively reinforce your child’s behavior. However, you can make smart parenting decisions without getting into screaming fights if you really take a step back to think about your child, how you speak to your spouse, and the power of compromise. The following are some tips for those who want to learn how to peacefully make parenting decisions with their spouse.
The first rule of parenting is to remember that you and your spouse are a unit. Do not let your child divide and conquer you and your loved one. Even when you disagree, it is important that the child never sees this. Otherwise, he or she may believe one of the parents to be weaker than the other. This can lead to disaster. After all, no one wants to look like the bad guy, and it’s not fair for one parent to be perceived as nice and one to be perceived as mean. Thus, if you and your spouse disagree about a decision or how to handle a decision, it is best to discuss this out of earshot of the child.
Always hear out your spouse before you make a judgment. You and your loved one may disagree about which school to send your child to, but this does not mean that you have to fight. Instead, stay calm and ask your loved one questions about why he or she believes what they believe. Asking questions will show your spouse that you do care about what he or she thinks and that you are not attacking them when you disagree with them.
When your spouse is talking, it is important to never interrupt him or her, even if you strongly disagree with what they are saying. Instead, look them in the eyes and nod to show your spouse that you are listening to them. The only way to make solid decisions with one another is to truly hear one another out. When it is your turn to speak, acknowledge what that you heard what your loved one had to say but also explain your side of the situation.
Do not think that you have to make decisions fast. Sometimes, it is okay to talk about a parenting decision and to then sleep on it. Take the time to weigh all of your options, do some research, and really meditate on the different options. Do not be afraid to ask loved ones for advice on this issue, especially if they have children and have been in this very same situation before. Feedback from other sources could very well help you when you are trying to better understand a situation or make a decision about your child’s future. Come back together with your spouse later on and really talk about what you have thought about and researched. Taking space, thinking things through, and doing your research could help you come to a decision or compromise and will ensure you and your loved one stay calm and logical about the matter.
Sometimes, the best decision is to compromise. This means that both you and your loved one need to take a step back and see if there is a way that each of your ideas can be incorporated into a parenting decision. Additionally, there will be times where it may be smart to choose your battles and to concede a decision to your loved one. Parenting is all about love, compromise, and communication. As long as you are honest with your spouse, you should be able to come to a decision that you can all live with.